Him : as he is squirting Afrin up my nose (while I plug one nostril at a time)
"What's wrong with your eyes?"
Me: as I'm dying "Ugh they're swollen?"
Him: "yeah your whole face looks swollen"
Me:in thought ,as I'm dying "yeah ,I'm lookin' poppin' fresh, homie"
That was the longest conversation we had the entire weekend.
He got home Friday evening. I was already on my deathbed.
"Hi, you better kiss my cheek, I got a grocery store chicken , goodbye" Then I went to bed.
I spent the entire weekend in bed......it hurt too bad to be awake and it hurt too bad to sleep. Everything hurt! At one point I told my spouse "my God , even my teeth hurt!"
I could barely breathe ,much less talk . All I could do is rasp out "I need more Nyquil"
Yesterday ,he left here about one to go to the airport. I wake up from my Nyquil daze, and look forlornly at the contents of the kitchen. I eat more orange sherbet.
Then I take my next dose of Nyquil and get back in bed. I sit and smoke a forbidden cigarette right in my bedroom and think to myself "you KNOW he's gonna come right back home now"
Then about 5 ,I hear a noise and I rasp out (to the cats) "what the hell are you doing?"
no answer. lol
Then a second later , there's my husband at the doorway "well, I'm back"
(see, told ya!) Flight canceled ...etc..etc.. "now I can watch the superbowl"
"now you can feed us"
Well, like I said ,the pickins were pretty slim around here. so I said "How bout toast and eggs."
I heard him as he scraped the burnt blackness off my toast . Then when he brought me the eggs I smelled something I couldn't identify ,with my sick nose.
"what's in these eggs?"
"why, aren't they good?"
"ugh, dry heave, yeah ."
He never did tell me , but it was Gorgonzola cheese or roasted garlic ...(mystery food) something that is not meant for people with the flu. I'm afraid to know now.
That was my last coherent memory of the superbowl fun. I woke a couple times and heard him yelling "go ! go! "
or some crap.
Today I am still sick as a dog and can barely talk ...but man ...nowhere near the agony of the last few days.
I looked in the mirror today (actually the first time I could even see clearly enough to know how bad I looked) And WHEW! I looked AWFUL!
My face looked like an albino rat. Two tiny holes for eyes, in a pasty white face,red nose. Hair like a greasy haystack. Black t-shirt with numerous food stains. Red sweat pants I've been rockin for 3 days.Mouth hanging open ..doing the mouth breathing thing. OMG! I hope my husband does come back .
Good LAWD!!! I'm ugly!!!
Hope y'all have been good while I was gone and hope to God you don't get the flu.
Good LAWD!!! I'm ugly!!!
Hope y'all have been good while I was gone and hope to God you don't get the flu.
