The alcohol police....House for sale....Cracked corn

Oh! I’ve been soooooo busy. Today is the first day off I’ve had in like 2 weeks. I am free as a bird today. Yippeeeeee!!!

I’m enjoying the Golden Girls as we speak. I’ve missed you, my old heroes.

So …let me see, what’s new around here?

Oh first of all ………Someone buy this house. You know you want to!!!

It’s in Sheridan Arkansas.

Here’s the song of the day…..sing it until it is stuck in your head. This is why I can’t remember what I’ve done for the last two weeks.

Hit it! “Jimmy crack corn and I don’t care! Jimmy crack corn and I don’t care! “

Here’s something new I learned about good ole backwoods Arkansas. Sunday evening I picked my spouse up at the airport and we drive all the way to Hot Springs before we attempt to eat dinner somewhere. First we try Bennigans. They are closed at 9 P.M.

Then we go to Olive Garden. We’re all giddy because they’re open and we’re starving to death. We get a drink and attempt to take it outside to smoke while we wait for our food. Immediately the alcohol police follow us outside and say “we can’t take our drinks out side” The while we are still waiting for our food. They inform us that “at 10 P.M. they will have to take our drinks away from us, as no alcohol is allowed on the table past 10 on a Sunday”

I think my head exploded.

The waitress walks by “4 minutes left , better guzzle up” Good Lord “can you bag up our food to go”

Save us ! We’re in a time warp.

The next night we took the boat out for the first time since winter. Yay! It’s like being alive again. We took the boat over to eat dinner at Fishermans Warf. They actually put Cajun spice on my Mahi Mahi, which usually they refuse to do . Some fish police law??? And my baby potatoes were absolutely delicious. Next time I’ll skip the fish.

Two of my children are off in Colorado snowboarding right now. I hate it when they do anything dangerous. I’d like it better if they sat at home and learned to knit or something.

My husband is home on his 2 week vacation.....messing up the house like nobody's business.

Later on I'll post some pictures.

That's all folks! Time for cigarettes.

Old lady criminals

Ola Ya’ll ,

Yes , I know I’m behind on updating. Night before last I spent 2 hours doing an update and then at the last minute lost the whole damn thing. ack!! I’ve been too mad and disgusted to start the whole thing over. Not that I remember it now anyway.

So, let’s just forget those days ever happened , shall we.

*The other day I got my ad bill from Wes and nearly had a heart attack. $361.00 ! Holy crap!

I was scared to break the news to my spouse. He took it surprisingly well though. So just remember if you get one of my postcards you better frame the damn thing because it cost a fortune.

Yesterday Floozie 2, Me and 2 of my other friends/neighbors went to open houses. The other 2 we shall call Nosy and Piss Pots mom.

Because Nosy is the one who always knows what’s going on around here. She’s the one who feeds our need for gossip. And Piss Pot is a gigantic cat, who recently started urinating all over his brand new condo. So his mom shall be crowned”piss pots mom”

She signed her Christmas card “me and Piss Pot”

Anyhow, we all went to open houses yesterday. We saw one really awesome house. The basement was as big as our whole condo. It was above the lake with a great view. Only $385,000.00 Go buy it for me ok?

The rest of the houses were nothing to write home about. But down the street from us, there had been this hideous little brick house for sale for the ungodly price of like 479.000. Well they have remodeled it, it’s not done yet. But now it is pretty little stucco house.

We decided to check it out. So all 4 of us pile out of the car. I think we’re going to look in the windows, walk around the back and see what they’ve done to the lake front side.

I get as far as looking in one window and Floozie 2 says hey there’s no doorknob. She just brazenly opens up the front door. “Wow! look at that neat fan!” They had these tropical fans on a tract, it was pretty cool.

A few seconds later ….we hear the earsplitting noise of the burglar alarm going off.

Somebody yells “oh shit! Run for it!”

Four old ladies run for the car and we try to make a quick getaway down the torn up driveway. Some old drunk guy is standing out in the yard of his trailer across the street, watching the whole thing. We wave at him as we skedaddle out of there.

Then we spent the next 2 hours waiting for the cops to show up at Floozie2’s door. Ha! They never did.

Maybe next time we’ll try robbing a bank.

The sad part is, now I have to wait til spring to see the other side of the house .By boat.

* Oh yeah...I forgot to add this conversation I had this morning with my spouse.

Me,thrilled at the very idea "OMG! yesterday there was a free monkey in the newspaper!"

Fuddy duddy "That thing would be shittin' all over the place"

Me "I think they wear diapers"

Fuddy duddy"Yeah,can you see that thing sliding across the floor in a dirty diaper.Or the
couch!"

Me"God,it's just a childhood dream.I can dream can't I? Besides don't you think a monkey might be smart enough to use the toilet?"

Fuddy duddy "a childISH dream"

Me"oh shut up.what a pooper"

Why do men have to crush our dreams like that??That's My husband.....more fun than a barrel of monkeys!

*And now.....the latest cat pictures. You know you've missed them.